


Things That Bind

by BunheadKitKat19



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Love Confessions, Other, Post-Episode: s11e06 Demons of the Punjab, They/Them pronouns for the Doctor, idk when exactly this happens but definitely after that episode, is this too cheesy? maybe, never tagging a doctor ship without using the other tag, thasmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:02:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23148196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BunheadKitKat19/pseuds/BunheadKitKat19
Summary: If the Doctor had one fatal flaw, it was that they'd only be able to admit their feelings when it was too late.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 5
Kudos: 23





	Things That Bind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lyzzardbrain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyzzardbrain/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Stowaway](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22458211) by [BunheadKitKat19](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BunheadKitKat19/pseuds/BunheadKitKat19). 



> @Lyzzardbrain thank you for commenting on Stowaway literally every single chapter. Your constant support inspired me to keep going with that fic, but also one particular comment inspired this one. Hope you like it!
> 
> Other readers, no need to read Stowaway to enjoy, although if you do decide to check it out I won't mind at all.

It was raining and the Doctor was alone. They stood outside in the dark, lost. Not because they didn’t know where they were, they could easily check for that information. But it wouldn’t have made any difference. They were lost because they didn’t know where to go anymore. The universe felt a whole lot less marvelous than it did before. 

“I’ve been an idiot, trying to shut them out.” They were talking to themself, but also to the TARDIS, the only companion to never leave them behind. “I thought it would be easier. Not getting too close, because everything ends and it always hurts. I was wrong, and I know you’ve been trying to get me to see that. Well, I see that now. Thanks to her… I’ve been so afraid of losing them or hurting them if they knew more, but I let her in and she stayed! For as long as she possibly could, she stayed. Always by my side. I don’t know what I did to deserve someone like her. I probably don't deserve her, anyways. She’s too good. I almost gave up on her. I should never have done that. But I can’t lose her, I- I can’t! I’m not ready for this to be over, not when we’ve only just started… I don’t know how much more I can love and lose, it hurts… so much…” They leaned back against the TARDIS. The rain beat hard on the wooden box. 

“It’s actually happening.” A part of them couldn’t bear to admit it and face the terrible truth. “Yasmin Khan is dead… and she’ll never know that I loved her.”

Damn. The Doctor was an idiot.

“You loved me?” the Doctor heard Yaz say. They sighed and began pacing around. 

“Yeah, I did. Still do. I love you Yaz, and now you’re gone. Just some… voice in my head, or something. I dunno.” The Doctor laughed, but anyone listening would’ve recognized the harshness in that noise. 

“You’ll never get to know I love you because I gave up on you just that once, one time too many, because I was an idiot, and now your-” They bumped into a woman. Leather jacket, long brown hair… Yaz?

The woman smiled. 

“Not dead.” 

The Doctor felt their hearts racing. Could it be? No. This couldn’t be right, they saw Yaz die in front of their own eyes. Yasmin Khan was dead, and whatever cruel trick this was, the Doctor wasn’t going to be played. They threw whoever or whatever it was they were seeing against the TARDIS. 

“How dare you steal her form! Show me your face. Tell me who you are right this second!” Their faces were right in front of each other. The Doctor felt the young woman’s heart racing. Then they looked into her eyes. 

“Doctor… it’s me. Yaz. I’m Yaz.” The Doctor stepped back, letting her go. Yasmin Khan, alive? They didn’t want to think of the possibility, because what if it was all a lie? They couldn’t go through losing Yaz again. But here she was, living. At least it appeared that way, and the Doctor knew better than anyone that appearances could be deceiving. 

“Prove it,” they said. “Because I have to be sure. I need to know it’s really you.” Their hot breaths danced like fog in the cold, rainy air. The woman was silent, and the Doctor stuck their hands in the pockets of their coat and hung their head. There was no way for this woman to prove that she was actually Yaz. The Doctor was right after all. Yasmin Khan was dead, and all they could do was walk away. 

“Wait,” the woman said, halting the Doctor. “Please… I remember my time with you. I remember that day we met, I remember when we found the TARDIS together, I remember meeting Rosa. You met my mum, my sister. We-”

“Memories don’t prove anything.” The Doctor turned back around with heavy hearts. They walked to the woman, standing right by the TARDIS’s door. 

“I’m so sorry, but anyone could’ve stolen her memories, read it like a file,” they said. “No, memories aren’t what matter.”

The Doctor looked the woman in her eyes. “If you are truly her, swear it to me on something that matters.” 

The woman gulped. The Doctor looked away. What if that was an impossible request, even for Yaz? If it was truly Yaz and there was nothing to be said… 

“Oh!” The woman exclaimed. “May I?” she asked, pointing into the TARDIS. The Doctor was stunned, and before they could say anything the woman rushed into the ship. 

“I never said that-” the doors slammed in the Doctor’s face. They huffed. 

“Unbelievable. I mean, if that is Yaz, very believable. But…” The Doctor couldn’t dare voice their fears aloud. Fears that Yaz was gone to them forever, fears that Yaz was right in front of them and they pushed her away yet again, fears of letting Yaz down, no matter the outcome. 

The Doctor was saved from their waves of anxiety by the woman returning with a rope in her hands. 

“I swear on this,” she said, extending her arm. That rope, there was nothing extraordinary about it. The Doctor whipped out their sonic and scanned the material. Early to mid-twentieth century, earth, from somewhere in India, oh!

“This rope. Recognize it? You took me to meet my grandmother when she was my age, just because I asked nicely. We got there, and you officiated her wedding. It was right at the border between India and Pakistan. The rope was the border, but you tore it down, and I used it to bind their hands together. Because that’s what matters. Love, bonds, connections. You taught me that love is stronger than anything. It outlives persecution, and war, and death itself. I swear to you, on this rope, that lesson, I swear on love it’s me.” 

The Doctor ran their hand down the rope, letting out a shaky breath. So maybe this was Yaz.

“Then tell me, how are you here?” The woman pulled on the rope, catching their hands in her own. 

“Don’t you know? A doctor came and saved my life. Like they always have, like they always will,” the woman said with a smile. The Doctor cupped her cheek, ignoring the tears brimming in both of their eyes. 

“Yaz?” They finally asked. She nodded. 

“Hi, Doctor.” 

“It’s really you.” Yaz placed her hand over the Doctor’s and kissed the heal of their palm, not looking away for a second. A warm tear fell on their fingers. 

“I love you, Yaz,” the Doctor whispered. 

“I know,” Yaz said, smiling into their hand. Of course, Yaz would know, the detective with a big heart. Always so perceptive. And it wasn’t like the Doctor ever tried to hide her affection for Yaz. But how did Yaz figure it out before the Doctor themself? They only realized their love for her five minutes ago. Or maybe Yaz knew because she heard it from the Doctor’s own lips at that very same moment. The Doctor began to laugh, and shortly Yaz was laughing too. 

“I love you too, Doctor,” she said, wrapping her fingers around the Doctor’s wrist. 

“Thank you,” was all the Doctor could say as they leaned their forehead against Yaz’s and closed their eyes. Because they truly meant it, at that moment more than any other they could even remember. 

“I’m so sorry for doubting you,” the Doctor said, wiping the tears from their eyes with the sleeve of their coat. “I shouldn’t have left you, or assumed it was too late to bring you back… I can be such an idiot, ya know.” Yaz’s chuckle warmed the Doctor’s hearts. Even in the cold rain and biting winds, Yaz could always bring warmth to their life. 

“It’s true!” They continued. “I spent too long trying to push you guys away because everyone I’ve let in has been ripped away from me all too quickly. That was a mistake, I know that now. But it doesn’t help that your lifespans are already so… short.” The Doctor ran their hand through their hair, watching Yaz forcefully exhale. 

“So, where does that mean for us?” she asked. She looked so worried about the answer. 

The Doctor was done with sheltering themself from pain and watching all of life’s marvels fly by. They couldn’t remember that they had stopped running to the universe and started running away from it, but they’re done running away now. 

They stepped forward, clinging on the rope in their hand and tugging on Yaz’s leather jacket so their bodies collided as they kissed. The Doctor’s hood fell back as Yaz reached to cradle the back of their neck. They felt Yaz’s smile on their lips. It had been so long since a small act like that set the Doctor’s hearts aflame. As their kiss slowed, Yaz pulled back for some air, resting her hands on the Doctor’s face. The Doctor had one hand around Yaz’s waist, the other on her shoulder. The rope was wrapped around them, binding them together. 

“It means we live life while it lasts,” the Doctor said, answering her question. Yaz was grinning, and the Doctor didn’t hold back the equally wide smile growing on their face. They wanted to live in this moment forever. Yaz was back, against all odds, and there they were together at last. The Doctor owed everything to whoever brought her Yaz back. Oh, right. 

“You alright?” Yaz asked. 

“We gotta go,” the Doctor said, spinning out of the tangled rope, grabbing Yaz’s hand and running to the TARDIS. 

“Go where?” 

“Go and be the Doctor! Save some lives!” The Doctor placed a hand on the door but stopped and turned around to face Yaz. “Starting with yours, right?” 

Yaz nodded. The Doctor dragged Yaz inside that magical blue box of theirs, both of them grinning madly. That all too familiar wheezing and groaning ignited a spark in Yaz’s eyes. Maybe the universe still had some marvels left for the Doctor.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed, comments are deeply appreciated :D


End file.
